Growing up, I learned that if you don’t have something nice to say, don’t say anything. But I want to give a different spin on it, I believe, but if you don’t have something nice to say, say it differently. In today's world, we deal with many people who disagree with who we may not like to push our buttons in ways that we never thought, so does that mean we don’t talk to anyone? Does that mean that we hide? Does that mean we don’t stand up for our beliefs and values? Does that mean we don’t have healthy adult conversations?
Of course not; we need to learn how to adjust ourselves and stay in the uncomfortability of disagreement to talk to someone with respect to talking to someone with care, concern, and empathy, and seeing their perspective.
There are two ways that we can go about doing this:
1. We validate first. All this means is that we’re saying yes, this means something to you, or this is important to you.
2. Secondly, we say our opinion in a calm, respectful way
We don’t always have to agree with each other. Research even shows from social psychologists that disagreement creates a connection. It establishes human societies to grow, think, reinvent and progress.
If everyone thought the same, everyone agreed with us, if everyone just went along with other people's ideas, how do we ever expect to do anything different or change for the better?
In this world, they are going to be people that you don’t agree with or have a different opinion. It doesn’t make it dangerous it doesn’t make it hurtful. It is an opportunity to connect with and understand someone and express your feelings. How do you believe in a way that is understandably collected, and maybe, just maybe, someone might learn something from what you have to say?
So going into this holiday season, there might be some drama there might be some conflict within family, friends and community.
Don’t show away from uncomfortable situation. Stand in it, experience, the feelings and embrace them with open arms to learn what other think , believe and feel.
Who know what you’ll learn?
Who knows what you can reach?
Who knows who you might connect with?
So, if you don’t have something nice to say, pause, take a breath and see it differently